ABOUT THE BOOK CLUB

Welcome to the Amazon Book Club! We're taking a stab at every free e-book on Amazon Prime one week at a time until it kills us or we kill each other.

SUBSCRIBE for tales of whimsy, tragedy, and heartbreak with just one underlying theme: it costs us nothing to read.

“Most Insane Source Material”- The A.V. Club’s 2018 Podcast Superlatives

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EPISODE 69: THE TETRADOME RUN

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Spencer Baum

This book is just like the movie "The Running Man" except there's no Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh, and replace Richard Dawson with Ryan Seacrest. And you can't see any of it - it's just us, barely reading. Maybe just watch "The Running Man" instead.

EPISODE 68: EMERALD CITY

Music: Morris Reese

Author & Guest: Brian Birnbaum

That's right, for the first time ever we have the author sitting in with us and taking it on the chin. Can Brian dish as well as he takes? Do we have the guts to let it rip right in the author's face? Or will we all just... get along?

EPISODE 67: DEADLY PURSUIT

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Ann Christopher

Yes, we're finally back with a new episode, but this might seem like a premise you've heard before. In the ultimate battle between a wealthy, buttoned-up drug dealer and a testosterone-fueled DEA Agent, who will YOU root for???

EPISODE 66: BOY IN THE MIRROR

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Robert J. Duperre

We spent too long trying to make this episode description a parody of "Man in the Mirror" and now we’ve run out of time. Oh geez. Ganesh is gonna kill us. Just listen to the episode, okay? And if he asks, tell him the song parody was awesome. He'll never read this!

🎶 If you wanna make the world a better place, listen to the show, subscribe and rate 🎶

PREMIUM PREVIEW: JURASSIC PARK

We started a Patreon! We're kicking things off with "Jurassic Park" by Michael Crichton. Give us five bucks a month and we'll give you two premium episodes, in addition to our free weekly episodes. It's a damn deal, folks!

Join now at patreon.com/amznbookclub

EPISODE 65: CANDY CORN CRIME

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Grace Lemon

It's our first annual Halfloween episode - celebrate the midway point between Halloweens with another entry in Lemon's "Oh Fudge! Cozy Mystery" Series.

ABC REMIX: MAPLE SYRUP MURDER

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Grace Lemon

We're remastering, remixing, and releasing some of our older episodes to get them up to our current GOLD STANDARD. Take a trip down memory lane with us, won't you?

Cider Island is a small town with a sweet tooth but it seems SOMEONE has a taste for BLOOD. Follow along with this fudge-filled whodunit and help us solve the ultimate crime: sweet, sweet murder.

EPISODE 64: CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Pam McCutcheon

It's another sequel, folks! Looks like you caught US in the act... of phoning it in! Speaking of, we got another voicemail and they don't sound too happy!

EPISODE 63: THE DRAGON WAKES

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Sarah Dalton

Are you a fan of "A Song of Ice and Fire"? Bummed that the last book will likely never see the light of day? Well, do I have an opportunity for you! Time to get in on the ground floor of an exciting new fantasy series some are calling "pretty similar" to the George R.R. Martin fantasy classic.

EPISODE 62: THE GREEN KNIGHT

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Chris Dietzel

Like science fiction? How about Arthurian legend? What if you didn't have to choose? There's a Galactic war a-comin' and one knight who stands in the way... apparently.

EPISODE 61: FAT VAMPIRE 3

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Johnny B. Truant

Fat Vampire is back and things are getting downright apocalyptic! It's Vampire vs. Human and our boy Reggie is caught in the middle. Plus, the triumphant return of Charles Barkley!

EPISODE 60: TEXAS TWOSOME

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Debbie White

Yep, we made it to the big 60. Join us again as we read our most beloved genre: small down cop versus big city journalist. Who will win in this thunderdome of LOVE?

EPISODE 59: CROC’S RETURN

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Eve Langlais

This is a book about a man... who is also a crocodile. It could be literal, it could be metaphorical, it could be a colossal misunderstanding on our part. Either way, we're having fun! Right?

EPISODE 58: PANCAKES AND CORPSES

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Agatha Frost

If that title doesn't rev your engine, maybe this ain't the podcast for you. It's a cozy mystery, folks. Get busy listening or get busy dying.

EPISODE 57: GOOD LUCK CHARM

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Kellie McAllen

Ganesh held a vote between this book and a book about Leprechauns. Leprechauns won, yet somehow we ended up here. Death to Ganesh!

EPISODE 56: BUDDY’S PLACE

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Bart Steele

This one is personal for us, talking place in Richmond, Virginia - our former home. If there were an Amazon Book Club origin story, this would be it... mostly because the entire book takes place inside a dank bar full of cigarette smoking degenerates. Home sweet home!

REMIX: Bluegrass Undercover

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Kathleen Brooks

We're remastering, remixing, and releasing some of our older episodes to get them up to our current GOLD STANDARD. Take a trip down memory lane with us, won't you?

EPISODE 55: PRETTY LITTLE PLAYER (SPECIAL GUEST: MORRIS REESE!!!!)

Music: Morris Reese!

Author: J. Kenner

Big thanks to Morris as always, he is the true star of this podcast. Check his music out HERE.

EPISODE 54: HICK LAWYER

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Corey Burns

If you thought all lawyers were learn-ed city slickers, think again - Hick Lawyer is gonna teach you a thing or two. Plus the triumphant return of THE BOYS! This episode is NOT brought to you by Waterloo Seltzer, though we wish it was.

EPISODE 53: RESURRECTION

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Michael J Totten

We made it fifty-odd episodes without dipping into the zombie genre and today we correct that mistake. As per usual, the undead are hungry for brains and our intrepid heroes are chock full of 'em. What else is new? It's zombies, folks. What do you want from me?

EPISODE 52: THE ADVENTURES OF DUKE LAGRANGE

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Jay Key

Let's cut to the chase - this one is a disaster. Enjoy!

EPISODE 51: CADE

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Liliana Hart

Longtime listeners might recall the name Cade from a number of past episodes - all slightly different but, at their core, undeniably Cade. That's because Cade isn't just one man. He's an idea. He's an archetype. He's an institution. Every great American novel needs its Cade. A disgruntled Texas lawman with a dark past? That's Cade. A down on his luck cowboy with a short fuse? Sounds like Cade. A misogynistic rancher with a concealed carry permit? Buddy, that better be Cade. This week we finally honor the character that's been the backbone of this podcast. Cade, this one's for you. (TW: Cade sucks a LOT).

EPISODE 50: HOT BACHELOR

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Katie McCoy

That's right - episode FIFTY! The big 5-0. We're officially over the hill, join us as we celebrate with some mind numbing garbage, the story of the hottest bachelor in town.

EPISODE 49: THE INVERTED PYRAMID

Music: Morris Reese

Author: A.C. Fuller

We're back! Happy 2019, let's kick it off with another BANGER. We made some resolutions and it turns out "make the podcast better" wasn't one of them. New year, same us, get used to it.

EPISODE 48: A CHRISTMAS CAROL

Music: Morris Reese, Ross Bugden, Alumo, AShamaluevMusic, The Hingamo Project, Darren Curtis

Author: Charles Friggen Dickens

Believe it or not, none of us had ever read this holiday classic. So to celebrate Christmas in style, we're giving you the gift of another AMAZON BOOK CLUB CLASSICS EDITION! Ring in the holiday with your favorite marble-mouthed idiots barely reading a book that's objectively better than this podcast. God bless us, every one!

EPISODE 47: CLAUS: LEGEND OF THE FAT MAN

with special guest Sean Gubitosi!

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Tony Bertauski

HO HO HO everyone. Our pal Sean joins us for the Official Gritty Origin Story of your favorite gift slinger. Check him out online @seangubs and his squad at @theshrimpstoreimprov.

Episode 46: Zambonis and Mistletoe

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Melody Heck Gatto

Who the HECK doesn't love some classic Christmas romance? This book is heavy on schlock and shockingly devoid of both zambonis AND mistletoe. Plus, we've got a VERY exciting present for you: our first fan voicemail!

EPISODE 45: A HANUKKAH MIRACLE

Music: Morris Reese

Author: J.R. Barrett

Happy Holidays, folks! It's time we did our part in the War on Christmas; join us as we honor the great Jewish holiday, Hanukkah. The "Festival of Lights," as Adam Sandler famously coined, is a time for family and friends, but new lovers? Now I've heard everything! This one will warm your heart and light your menorah.

EPISODE 44: LOVING THE TEXAS LAWMAN

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Charlene Sands

Hope you had a terrific Thanksgiving, I ate too much turkey and forgot everything about this episode. I seem to recall a Texas sheriff's unlikely romance with a lingerie entrepreneur... but perhaps that was Thanksgiving induced delirium.

EPISODE 43: THE MAGPIES

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Mark Edwards

This one's got it all! Sex! Fire! Relentless ass kicking! British slang in a Boston(???) accent! Our first LISTENER MAILBAG! Not to mention, a brand new full length track from the one and only MORRIS REESE! Could you ask for more? Why would you? Who do you think you are???

Check out Morris's SoundCloud here.

Episode 42: Flight 39

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Phillip Peterson

If you had a time machine, what would you do first? Kill baby Hitler? Pft. Amateur. Try killing ADULT Hitler, you coward. That's what the intrepid hero of this week's episode does, and as you might predict, it's a barrel of laughs!

EPISODE 41: CAPWAR ELECTION

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Brandt Legg

Feeling anxious about the impending end of the world? Kick back, relax, and enjoy while you still have electricity and running water.

EPISODE 40: THE SHINING

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Stephen King

This is the last in our SPOOKY Halloween series and we decided to go out with a bang. Join us as we channel Jack Torrance and slowly descend into madness.

EPISODE 39: THE FAMILY MAN

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Amy Cross

Happy Halloween! This one is gross and sad.

Episode 38: Hickory Dickory Dead

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Cheryl Bradshaw

Seventy year old Maisie Fezziwig stumbles upon a grisly murder scene right after a night of ravenous love-making with one in a series of geriatric gentleman callers. While most would report this to the police and wash their hands of it, Maisie is a busy-body who starts to investigate. This is another award-winning episode where we talk about Taco Bell for twenty minutes for no reason.

EPISODE 37: FAT VAMPIRE 2: TASTES LIKE CHICKEN

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Johnny B. Truant

Reggie is back! Still fat, still a vampire. This time he dukes it out against famed NBA personality Charles Barkley and we all lose.

Episode 36: Moorehead Manor

Music: Morris Reese

Author: David McMullen-Sullivan

This week we're kicking off an entire month of SPOOKY ebooks, just in time for Halloween. We begin with this YA novel about three teens who end up trapped in a haunted house. Kids will love this tale of suicide, infant death, and turn of the century medical horror.

Episode 35: The Old Man and the Sea

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Ernest Hemmingway

Welcome to the Amazon Book Club CLASSICS EDITION, where we butcher books that we have no business reading. This week we're reading "The Old Man and the Sea" by the one and only Ernest Hemingway. You may know him as Mariel Hemingway's grandfather but believe it or not, he also had a knack for writing

Episode 34: Murder, Mayhem, and Mama

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Christie Craig

HOT DAMN, this one's a thriller. Murder? Check. Mayhem? You bet. Mama? Well, frankly... not enough. Could have used more Mama. Here's a writing tip for you: Go heavy on Mama. If you think it's enough, it's not. Take whatever you have and double it. Can't have too much Mama.

Episode 33: The Thought Readers

Music: Morris Reese

Authors: Dima Zales & Anna Zaires

That's right, two authors for the price of one! These two brainiacs put their heads together and popped out this literary masterpiece - the story of a man named Darren who can freeze time and, instead of robbing banks, uses his power to read diaries and cheat at cards. Lots of Taco Bell talk in this one, if that's your thing.

Episode 32: Mr. Pizza

Music: Morris Reese

Author: J.F. Pandolfi

This one is a period piece! Join us as we take a trip back to a real American golden age: 1973. Tony Piza is a simple Italian boy from the neighborhood who takes a gap year before law school and, through a series of madcap mixem-ups, ends up teaching at the local Catholic school. Imagine a "School of Rock" scenario but, instead of learning about music, children are taught to disrespect authority and that GOD is DEAD. Pretty cool!

Episode 31: The Fixer

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Rex Carpenter

JC Bannister is a FIXER... the kind of guy who FIXES things that need FIXING. Capiche? You catch my drift? Real dirty stuff. You don't wanna know. And don't ask, either. You'll just have to listen and find out who the FIXER is FIXING to FIX.

Episode 30: The Tycoon’s Revenge

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Melody Anne

A tale as old as time itself - a beautiful billionaire and a simple pauper have a romantic tryst resulting in a BASTARD SON raised in the lap of luxury, unbeknownst to the father. But wait, what's this? The billionaire lost her riches? And the pauper has become a SILICON VALLEY SUCCESS? My, how the tables have turned!

EPISODE 29: SIT...STAY...BEG

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Roxanne St. Claire

Love romance? Who doesn't? Love dogs? You must! Join us as we delve into an unlikely love story between a young hot-shot journalist and a reclusive billionaire who rescues dogs. A billionaire with a conscience?? Might want to file this one under SCIENCE FICTION! Folks, it's a free podcast.

EPISODE 28: DYING FOR DINNER ROLLS

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Lois Lavrisa

A couple of middle aged gossips try and solve a string of murders around town while neglecting friends, family, and work. Despite making zero progress, they manage to discover themselves along the way. Also there are NO dinner rolls in this book; if you've come for the rolls, look elsewhere.

EPISODE 27: FAT VAMPIRE

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Johnny B. Truant

That's right, FAT VAMPIRE. If you've had your fill of svelte, sexy vampires with their glistening skin and their charming bad boy attitudes, just wait until you meet Reggie. Not only is he a portly klutz, he's got the power to grow a full goatee in a matter of seconds. This one is an instant classic!

EPISODE 26: THE LAST ORCHARD

Music: Morris Reese

Author: James Hunt

Charlie Decker's got it all - a family, an orchard, an anger management problem. Everything a man could need. That is, until the POWER GOES OUT. Follow along helplessly as society collapses around Charlie, who doesn't handle it all that well. Will our hero live long enough to see another bountiful harvest of apples?

Episode 25: Oath of Office

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Jack Mars

The DEEP STATE is at it again, folks! Luke Stone, hot shot FBI agent and certified loose-cannon, will stop at NOTHING to take down a group of mysterious terrorists hell-bent on destroying America. Break out the stars and stripes and crack a Budweiser, it's time to soak up some good old fashioned, morally ambiguous patriotism.

Episode 24: The Remnant Keeper

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Robert Scott-Norton

None of us remember recording this episode and yet, it exists. Listen to us presumably riff on a few pages of this, uh, novel? Memoir? Travel guide? This is our best episode yet, or perhaps our worst. Let's find out together.

Episode 23: A Robot Named Clunk

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Simon Haynes

Join us as we take an adventure through the stars with the rogue but law-abiding adventurer HAL SPACEJOCK and his annoying robot nemesis, CLUNK. Come for the fast paced escapade through the cosmos, stay for the extended scene of Hal bartering for new boots.

EPISODE 22: WYNE & DINE

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Donna Michaels

 Will our two star-crossed lovers defeat the odds and end up together? Well, yeah, of course. But we can still enjoy the JOURNEY.

EPISODE 21: DARK CITY

SPECIAL GUEST: Cat Leth

Music: Morris Reese

Author: Catherine Lee

This week we're reading a good old fashioned murder mystery with a TWIST - everyone is Australian! 



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